Things that annoy me about the train

I ride the train to work pretty much everyday now unless something unusual like a doctor's appointment is going on. Honestly, I love riding the train because I generally get 30 minutes of reading time or music listening time or just thinking and staring out the window time. However, there are several things that really annoy me about the train. Here they are:

1. I hate the ticket checker guy who tells me to smile in the morning. As though I must be in a bad mood since I am not smiling rather than I am simply not totally awake yet. Why do people assume that because you aren't smiling that you must be in a bad mood. Maybe I am working out the problem of energy dependence in my head. Anyway, it makes me want to punch him when he says, "Smile. It's not that bad." Fuck off, dude.

2. People should not have inappropriate conversations about their personal lives on cell phones on the train. Yesterday morning I had to listen to this woman talk on and on about her impending divorce. I even put my Zune on and I guess that was her cue to talk louder because I could still hear her over the music.

2b. People should talk at a normal or below normal level on the train. I don't care about your dog, your car, your job, your opinion on the Cardinals, whatever. Either talk like a polite human being sharing a public space or shut the hell up.

3. People need to learn to share. Your bag? It does not need it's own seat, especially when it's a Target bag containing your lunch. It's seat can be your lap, asshole.

4. Teenagers who feel the need to touch you. Some girl was touching my hair the other day on the train. When I turned to ask her to stop, she acted like I was the inappropriate one. But my look of death stopped her from touching my hair again.

5. PDA. Seriously. No one on the train wants to watch you make out.